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Post by Dinah on Feb 23, 2007 15:09:23 GMT -5
www.fictionpress.com/s/2310395/1/I figured for those who are intrested I'd post this link to a story I'm writing that was inspired both by Rule of Rose's concepts and my own expriences with the cruelty of people. The story is called Spades and right now it has three chapters published on fictionpress Though I'd like for one day it to be published as an actual novel. It's set in England shortly after World War II, when children are left without homes and families, and some are left scarred for life. Enter Lysette Claudia Dawson, a girl who lost her family to the Nazi's and something else important as well, her memory. When anything bad to her happens she forgets it as soon as her mind can allow. She finds herself suddenly in the middle of the House of Cards, the secret society of the children of the orphanage. It's ruler, The Queen of hearts places her at the bottom houses in the house of Spades, there she and two other children face tortures that no child should have to face. Until one day when the queen, who claims to be Lysettes friend, goes to far and does something even Lysette cannot forget, or forgive. The result is a plot for revenge that one cannot help but feel the queen deserves. There are three chapters available for reading at the moment and the fourth on is currently in progress. Reviews or at least comments would be much appreciated. But most of all I hope you find it enjoyable.
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Post by Dinah on Feb 26, 2007 13:17:56 GMT -5
Okay since fictionpress is being stupid I'm going to have to post the next chapter here for now.
Introduction to her Majesty
There was silence. The queen was not pleased. There was that tall gangly boy known as Ezekiel offending her senses, however in a few moments that rage had subsided at the sight of her newest subject. Auburn hair framed a face with pinch able cheeks this head sitting on a thin body that was wrapped in a large coat and a scarf with all the colors of the rainbow. She seemed shy and vulnerable and her subjects could not help but notice the queens face turn from a look of disgust to that of a slight smirk gracing her lips. "Amara," Ezekiel seemed to be gritting his teeth at the other girl who was twisting a strand of her dark hair round her finger, she frowned when he spoke, but kept an eye on the new girl. "This is Lysette, the newest member of the family."
"You mean my newest subject." She said coyly. Ezekiel tried to disguise his glare, as well as fight the urge to merely grab Lysette by the arm and lead her to where he wanted to take her...away from Amara and her subjects.
"Subject?" Lysettes voice was once again tiny compared to the booming alto of Amaras voice and it rang almost pleasantly in Ezekiel’s ear. Amara smiled and stood up from her seat in the front of the classroom that they were in. It was their common meeting ground during the time when there were not classes and not holding their meetings in the mansions large attic. "Isn't that cute!" Amara almost squealed as she looked to the other girls to suggest that they wear similar expressions. "She doesn't know...Ezekiel hasn't told her." She issued a death glare in the direction of the brown haired teen. "I, Miss Lysette, am the Queen." The girls shifted in their seats as though they were magnets moving towards Amara as she came closer to Lysette. "And you are," She smirked as she grabbed something off the desk that neither Ezekiel nor Lysette could see. Though Ezekiel knew it was bad, he grabbed around in a manner that no one else would see, grabbing Lysettes hand in preparation to pull her away. "DIGUSTING!" She pounced on the younger girl shoving into her face a filthy rag that smelled of dirt, and chalk dust, and other horrible smells that she could not place in the time it was in her face. Ezekiel pulled her as quickly as he could out the door. Propelling Amara forward a distance before her subjects rushed to catch their queen.
~------~
Dirt and chalk dust covered her face from the rag and speckled her nose and had it not been done in the situation that it had been done in the way her face was would have been cute. But Ezekiel hardly thought of the way the auburn haired girl looked instead pulling her along quickly and occasionally making sure that they were not followed. Up a spiral staircase and into a narrow hallway that held only a single oak door that had a little sign above it in elegant letters. "Closet" From it came the elegant plucking sound of an instrument that Lysette had never heard before. Ezekiel had not at this time paid attention to the younger girl that he pulled behind him. Her hand was limp and she followed along without much force required. "Are you okay?" He asked looking around to the girl for the first time since they had ran. Automatically regretting introducing her to them.
The music continued inside the room.
Lysette looked at him as though she were confused as to what he was asking. "Of course I'm alright. Did something happen?" There was a moment of stunned silence between the two of them in which the music from the other room seemed to grow louder. "No..." He started "Nothing at all." He turned the doorknob to enter a room that was surprisingly more elegant than the outside hallway, which was rather damp looking and slightly musty, would have lead one to believe. Inside there was carpet, a wine red carpet that seemed frayed with age but comfortable to sit on. Large curtains framed the door and in the corner of the room was a large paper blind, like the ones women used to change behind. A small table was in the middle of the room, with four worn looking pillows that were to be used as seats. A chipped teapot sat in the middle of the table, surrounded by four equally worn tea cups that seemed to be developing a layer of dust from disuse, at least two of them did, the other two were full of a pale green tea some of the leaves starting to float to the top obviously having sat there a while. Steam no longer rose from the cups. In the corner before the large paper blind was a mirror sitting on a wooden crate and in front of that, on a pillow her feet folded nearly under her sat a small girl of about twelve years of age. She was dressed in a white dress that came to about her knees and socks that came to the same length, her hair was nearly bobbed to a length that was between her neck and shoulders, and elegantly slanted almond eyes focused intently on the large wooden koto that sat on her lap, looking a great deal larger in size than she was. The pleasant plucking of notes continued until the door behind them closed with a rather large thump and the girl with the almond eyes looked up.
"Ezekiel." Her voice was a pleasantly soft voice that was probably a soprano when she sang, and that hit notes that didn't seem to belong in the English scale. English was obviously not her first spoken language.
"Etsuko." Ezekiel’s slight accent as he said the name of the girl caught Lysettes attention, as though he were trying to mimic the dialect the girl had, she felt the desire to smile, as it was rather cute. The girl placed the Koto on the floor gently as though she were placing a child into its crib, thus was the way she placed it on the floor. Her feet never moving from under her small body as she turned to face the chestnut haired boy and the girl who had remained silent behind him. "I see you have brought the new girl you said would be coming." Her expression was one of unpleasant surprise she glimpsed the girls face, dirty and covered in chalk dust. "She's dirty." She felt the need to point out the obvious and Ezekiel shook his head in an expression of distaste.
"She met her." he spoke as though this explained everything that needed to be explained.
"Her?" Lysettes silence was broken as she *CENSORED*ed her head to the side in an expression of confusion, "I met her, who is her?"
There were a few moments of silence as Etsuko stared at Ezekiel with one elegantly arched eyebrow quirked as she looked in the auburn haired girl’s direction. "That's very funny Lysette." Ezekiel smiled awkwardly as he looked to the girl “What is very funny?” She bore a confused look on her pale and dirty face that showed that what she was asking was no joke. ”What is going on?” Etsuko looked between the two of them her voice with its notes not on the normal scale registered confusion, and a slight trace of fear. Lysette seemed to be in deep thought for a few moments though an expression of panic was registered on her pale expression. Ezekiel looked to her as though he were expecting the expression to change into one of that of mischievous joy. He was hoping that she had tricked them. It was not the expression that registered on her face though. Instead it was an expression of embarrassment appeared on her dirty complexion. “I did it again didn’t I?” She asked sheepishly. “It?”
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Post by PrincessJennifer on Feb 26, 2007 13:30:05 GMT -5
What did she do, though?O.O
I hate Amara-so mean!>.<
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Post by Dinah on Feb 26, 2007 13:48:12 GMT -5
heh, you'll see. It'll be explained in the next chapter.
Amara was meant to be hated. Only those naive enough to see good in everyone (Lysette) or those who are bent on avoiding conflict (The rest of the children who are not Ezekiel and Etsuko.) Fail to notice it. Even the adults hate her, they just don't bother to try and stop her cruelty.
I mean come on the girls role model is Adolf Hitler. (I'm serious about that too.)
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Post by Dinah on Mar 28, 2007 13:33:28 GMT -5
Just giving the topic a little boost. The new chapter will but up in a while hopefully.
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Post by PrincessJennifer on Mar 28, 2007 15:13:28 GMT -5
Are you going to try and get this published?
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Post by Dinah on Mar 28, 2007 20:01:31 GMT -5
Probably. I've been thinking of looking into it. Though considering how much attention it's getting it's apparently not very good. But it's worth a shot anyways.
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Post by PrincessJennifer on Mar 28, 2007 20:06:28 GMT -5
If you are planning to, make sure not to post all the chapters up.^^
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Post by Dinah on Mar 29, 2007 9:42:59 GMT -5
? why?
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Post by Dinah on Mar 29, 2007 10:12:56 GMT -5
Oh yeah, figured I'd give a little details on the characters, or at least the ones that have been introduced.
Lysette Claudia- French name meaning 'Lost Child' She's about 14 years old, and her father was involved with the Military. She was inspired by well...the easiest way to say this is: how I used to be. She forgets things because her mind says it's easier to do than cope with the stress. She's very introverted.
Ezekiel Safir- He's Jewish. He was inspired by my friend Will, a poster on another forum called Xenolegacy, He's named after Will's original character. Ezekiel, though he may not seem like it now, is the best support Lysette will have. He's probably the most mature of the orphans, because one would have to be after survivng through the concentration camps. He's lost his faith, because of the events though. Because what "God" would force a believer to watch their own family die in front of him.
Etsuko Kurosawa- Inspired by another online friend. Her parents were Japanese, and moved to England before the war. She doesn't speak about them much. She doesn't really speak much at all. But what she says, she tries to make have meaning.
Amara- She was inspired by another online friend, who really put me under alot of stress, and just generally help me with encouraging my self destructive behavior. The point that actually created the character was reading something in another story. With characters inspired by us. When her character Serah, litteraly forced herself on Marien, trying to be 'protective' of her to get back at someone that Marien was getting along with better than her. Though it was honestly revealed that she was just making friendly with Marien to try to get to her boyfriend. It was then that both Lysette and Amara were born in my mind. Lysette, the girl who's merely looking for someone to be close to her. Amara, the girl who is only close because she wants power over everything.
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Post by PrincessJennifer on Mar 29, 2007 15:36:19 GMT -5
Why? Because if everyone can read the whole story online, why would they buy the book?
I think Amara is about to join Cara at the most-hated characters lounge.
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Post by Dinah on Mar 30, 2007 11:21:25 GMT -5
XD I wanna try and do a set for Amara for this forum. Because stuff that's hating on other characters is fun to do. That one song comes to mind, the one that I'm pretty sure the title uses profanity for. Either that or the hidden song on my chemical romances new CD. Amara needs to sing either of those.
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Post by Dinah on Apr 13, 2007 16:13:48 GMT -5
I've got some more characters that I've managed to create, who will make a debut in it soon. I've gotten Three more chapters done, but there's still a good deal I haven't thought of. If anyone has any ideas for cruel things help me out! >_>
random tidbits
-The final chapter is mapped out. Amara gets it. I've decided for once to give my main characters a happy ending, well except in one way. All I can say is two words: Poor Ezekiel.
New characters and who they were inspired by:
Lara Marx- Inspired by Jamie, the admin at Xenolegacy.com. She's the pleasant to be around, voice of reason. She's 18 years old and serves as Wintercrests cook and assistant nurse. She, Ezekiel and Etsuko are good friends, and she's sure to grow to like Lysette over time, she just doesn't know her well enough. The group often gets out of massive chore duty by helping her in the kitchen.
Stephanie "Steffie" Harris- Inspired by another admin from Xenolegacy, She's part of Amaras group, but seems to be the butt of every joke, and every prank within the confines of the house's walls. She doesn't enjoy it. But she hopes that none of the 'spades' move up, because things would surely be worse for her if she got demoted. She is actually a very kind individual and starts to develop a desire to help Lysette.
I'm looking for people willing to volunteer their characters for the story, It won't exactly be major roles but no part is too small.
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Post by Dinah on May 29, 2007 15:43:48 GMT -5
I did some artwork a while ago for the novel, originally it was going to start out with a scene like in Rule of Rose, where the main character is tied to a post with crayons stuck in her mouth. I intend to use a similar scene, but it's not at the opening of the novel anymore. www.deviantart.com/deviation/45637074/?qo=4&q=by%3Adanielle-chan&qh=sort%3Atime+-in%3AscrapsThis is what Lysette looked like. Her character design has changed a little bit. I'll try to scan my cover picture design to show how she looks now. It's only been slightly altered (for a reason presented in the novel she has shorter hair.) You'll also get to see what Ezekiel looks like. I love drawing Ezekiel. He's too cute. Etsuko is adorable too. Amara...well...eh, I don't like her anyway. Well correction: I love to hate her.
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Post by PrincessJennifer on May 29, 2007 16:44:04 GMT -5
How low long has that been up? I swear I've seen it before.
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