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Post by thesteadfastprince on Dec 6, 2006 16:26:26 GMT -5
So since discovering the awesometasticness© of this board, I decided to stop being shy and share some of my writing ideas (and hopefully later on some of my writing). I'd love some basic feedback since this is only the preliminary story-crumbs of what I hope to write but....(by the way I apologize in advance for the babbly nature of my post writing...I just get my words out the same way I speak. so i interrupt myself sometimes...but I do have a point if you stick with me. ;D )
(and what I need to work out is the logisitics to make it believable)
so anyway...
My idea is to deal with a more adult RCA. Therefore it's based in reality and gets Jennifer's twisted memory technique of the first game out of the way off the bat. I didn't want to copy that. It's more of an adult drama/thriller in that sense...but much darker and still hearkening back to the first games themes.
The story is set at a Boarding school, probably about twenty years later. Somehow (see the logistics problem?) this group of friends discover this little treasure trove of evidence/info about the events of RoR; maybe Amanda's diary and Meg's notebook...clippings, the storybooks perhaps. I dunno. But they become obsessed with the idea, and being bored rich kids sent away from home (indirect orphans if you will) they decide to make their own RCA.
At first it's just cruel pranks/popularity drama...but it leads to a cruel death and then suspicion, deceit, and betrayal destroys them from the inside out.
I have characters written out, and I for SURE want this scene where the protagonist sits unknowingly next to adult Jennifer on a bus as they share a sort of "strangers confiding in one another" moment.
The boys play an intricate part to the events this time too. The princes are fairly integral this time around I'd say.
What do you all think?
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Post by thesteadfastprince on Dec 6, 2006 16:50:18 GMT -5
Oh I'm so dumb, I forgot to list my characters:
Princess Rebecca (18): The most mature of the group, she doesn't really care for their recent obsession with the game they discovered and is the first to warn them all about trouble. When the accident happens everyone turns to her for advice. She is also Gene's sister. Sort of the den mother of the group.
Duchess Helena(18): Hates being bored and loves excitement no matter the cost. A huge flirt and matchmaker. She is the most beautiful of the girls and knows it which aids her intimidating demeanor. The club is an excuse for outfits and pictures as far as she is concerned.
Countess Joanna(16): the rest of the group especially Helena baby her, as she is the most sensitive. Her plain looks and personality cover up an intelligent thoughtful poet. She thinks of herself as different and loses herself in hobbies. She uses tarot cards becasue she wants to know the future before it can arrive and hurt her. She is close with Gene.
Baroness Violet (16): The tomboy. She doesn't really care for the club either, but is a secretly lonely person so she goes along with it to spend time with her friends. She presents herself as aloof but takes offense often when she is ignored in favor of the others. She sees Rebecca as her closest friend.
Poor Gene (16): He (yes he!) has always been attached to his sister and her friends, because he is sort of a loner in the school. Not very friendly with other boys, Gene grew up in the presence of the girls as sort of the fragile little brother. Initially he is bothered by the idea of the club and only accepts the girls' joking offer to be the bottom rung because he does everything together with them. He is often the confidant to the girls, but no one notices the lengths to which he keeps his own emotions secret.
The other characters are important becasue they propel the plot forward, so i won't give so much info.
The boyfriends-- Prince Alexander (18):Rebecca's boyfriend is kind. He takes comfort in the fact that most are afriad of his intimidating appearance (big strong) when in fact he is gentle and kind.
Duke Michael (17): An artist. He's completely interested in the history of the club. Thinks the games are cool. He's almost the male equivalent of Helena.
Viscount Julian (16): Secretly fond of Helena, and is only close to Joanna for that very reason. He thinks the club is creepy.
Baron Richard (17): Alex's friend and rival on the athletics team. He is very competitive. Has sort of an anger problem.
Others---
Filthy Lucy (16): A heavyset girl with a kind heart and trusting personality. She pines over Gene unbeknownst to him. She is quite talented in music especially piano.
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Post by cellerikun on Dec 6, 2006 17:06:57 GMT -5
Hm.. You'd probably be better off working on this as an independent story taking place in the same universe, rather than as a direct RoR sequel.
For instance, where would these kids get the idea for the game, since Meg's notebook is ripped apart by Diana and Amanda's notebook is mostly full of anti-Jennifer sentiment?
Alternately, you might have the boarding school built on top of or integrated into the Rose Garden orphanage, and since its inception the students have heard the Legend of the Sky Princess (that is, someone found the newspaper clipping of the orphanage murders and the letters between Wendy (the Princess in the Sky) and the Prince and it became a schoolyard urban legend in the manner of stuff like What Happens if you Swing Over the Top of the Swingset or Miss Zarves on the Thirteenth Floor or whatever), and develop a secret club based on that.
Which would be awesome as a game concept because the place would obviously be haunted by the ghosts of the RCA girls. I really like the idea of some unfortunate boarding school student wandering the halls and hearing, "Stray Dog will have his peas..." echoing through the empty school.
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Post by thesteadfastprince on Dec 7, 2006 0:27:07 GMT -5
Well I suppose I sort of failed at retracing my steps...I didn't really consider how difficult I'd made it for myself to explain their discovery of the case.
Thanks so much for the suggestion about the school being on the grounds of Rose Garden. Hmm...I could really play with a posession theme there. I guess I was just so in love with RoR that I was being narratively clingy in some of my story formulation. However, I assure the actual story events for this new set of characters is completely different.
Maybe I just need to push further with characters coming back. Like maybe Clara with/out Martha, out of guilt, return to work there and make sure nothing like that happens again to the children, only to have curious kids discover the past through them? I think i need to simplify things.
The rumors/ghost story/urban legend angle seems best. Thanks a lot for the feedback. =D
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Post by empressjess on Dec 7, 2006 5:08:58 GMT -5
I'd like them to find Stray Dog's storybooks, personally, since if I were to come across them somewhere on my college campus (since college is sort of like boarding school anyway) I know I'd be pretty bent on knowing what the heck was up with them.
I also like how you're incorporating boyfriends into the scheme of things; though I love RoR for its stress on female homosexuality, I think the tale would assume an interesting new dynamic if you bring in some better socialized and more socially correct relationships.
And cellerikun, did you just mention Miss Zarves? Because that was pure awesome right there, and reminds me of my favorite scene in all the Wayside series, that sort of reminds me of RoR in a twisted way:
Real Mark Miller: Maybe we've died and gone to... Allison: This isn't heaven! Real Mark Miller: That wasn't what I was going to say.
Also, I think in the last book the evil substitute teacher (who had been left by the love of her life and turned bitter) was named Wendy, wasn't she?
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Post by thesteadfastprince on Dec 7, 2006 12:28:41 GMT -5
Thanks empressjess. And actually, being that I can identify so closely with it, the not so socially correct relationships are still present in the story. I'm just including the full spectrum. and i mean FULL. =D
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Post by cellerikun on Dec 7, 2006 13:29:23 GMT -5
Hm. It may just be because I have an aversion to sequels, but you know, this is sounding more and more like a badass forum RPG, or at least an awesome BESM game. It could really be a great idea. (Also, w00t for equal opportunity love! I'm glad to see someone else appreciates the concept; every original story I make has it. ^^) As to the storybooks, I wonder what they'd be like, or about? That is, in the game, the storybooks are all tied into Jennifer's memories and the 'story' of what happened in her life, drawn in childish scribbles but immediately relevant; chances are, Gregory never wrote Rag Princess Sews (which I think is the only one that actually depicts the Imps, which was an orphanage nursery myth and Gregory couldn't have known about it-- at least while he was still writing storybooks, anyway.) So I wonder if Gregory's storybooks were about Joshua and his love of flying things. Actually, you know what you could do? It's hinted at in the game with the Stray Dog Shall Have His Peas song and Gregory's Goodnight, Young Pea chant and the newspaper clippings strewn about that Gregory was killing children before Wendy set him on the orphanage, and it may have even been part of his dog training. If you have it set up that Gregory really was putting peas in the ground (ie, murdering children, grinding them up into fertilizer and seeding his field with them) there might be a storybook about that. Because I'm a sick person and have something wrong with me, there's a part of me that thinks one of the kids that Gregory killed ought have been named Dennis. Because then you'd have Dennis screaming, "No, Mr. Wilson! Please put down that axe, I swear I'll never do it again!" Bahahaha. Also, empressjess, yes, Wayside School = win. I don't remember the evil sub's name, though. It's been way too long.
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Post by thesteadfastprince on Dec 7, 2006 15:44:35 GMT -5
The evil sub's name was...tun TUN TUN!!!! Miss Wendy Nogard. lol. creepy full circle-ness, no? One of my favorite stories was the one about Sherry falling out the window...oh oh! and Nancy! hehehe. Yea I suppose we could play it as a game...although i'd love to still write it out...my best surprises are still being kept secret. I always thought the same thing about Gregor's storybooks too...i'm sure the real ones weren't all schizo'd out and scary. Unless they always were, in which case Joshie would have turned out one messed up little boy...intriguing. And about equal oppurtunity love...how could I NOT appreciate it? Ask my boyfriend.
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Post by empressjess on Dec 7, 2006 20:21:41 GMT -5
I like to think I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to love myself, so word to that ;D
Wendy Nogard. Going to throw a baby out a 30-story window because she has an extra ear--good stuff.
In reality, I think Gregors' storybooks weren't intended to be as creepy as they come off, but somehow they end up being presented that way. Let's not forget that the un-Disneyfied versions of classic fairytales are chock full of really uncanny crap (like Cinderella's step-sisters having their eyes pecked out by pigeons, for example).
Also, if you want, you could use the previous peas to link your new group to the story: "Dennis" could be somehow connected to one of the kids, maybe.
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Post by cellerikun on Dec 7, 2006 20:26:34 GMT -5
I'm really tempted to make a forum game out of it, but the fact is, no forum game I've ever been involved with didn't end up sucking on some level.
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Post by empressjess on Dec 7, 2006 20:36:46 GMT -5
Though this will sound judgmental and cynical, it's probably because it involves actual people. I find that trying to coordinate these kinds of activities, especially on the internet, usually proves disastrous, what with the feelings getting hurt and the flaming and etc, etc.
I am just a ball of sunshine today, ain't I? Sorry for my bad attitude, guys, I'll suck it up now.
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Post by cellerikun on Dec 7, 2006 22:52:03 GMT -5
It's possible, certainly. I guess it's just a matter of actually producing something we can all enjoy. I would love to make a Flash survival horror game... but I don't have access to Flash, nor am I any kind of programmer, so that's out. Forum games are my sad, sad consolation prize.
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Post by empressjess on Dec 7, 2006 22:54:08 GMT -5
If you ever do end up making a flash game, definately tell me.
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Post by spookythings on Dec 7, 2006 22:54:21 GMT -5
whats a forum game? is it an rpg? this is my first forum, so i'm a little ignorant of your ways.
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Post by cellerikun on Dec 7, 2006 23:54:25 GMT -5
It's an RPG, yes. The idea is that you divide up the message board into different locations of the world of the game (in this case, you might have a board for the Orphanage divided into individual rooms or portions of the house) wherein the players write narratives for their characters, whether an existing character (ie, Wendy or Jennifer) or an original character.
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